IoM 2010:
Squishy: Well I don’t think the military will replace their guns with lightsabers.
Ryan: Lightsaber bayonets! How cool would that be?
Squishy: Well, lightsabers can apparently cauterise entire limbs.
Ryan: The back of my calves are not actually one of my erogenous zones.
Katie: Everyone has gusty winds.
[At The Creek Inn in Peel, Lawrence talks to two waitresses to arrange for the whole team some tables]
Waitress at bar: We may not be able to accommodate that big a group.
Lawrence: We can be flexible around you.
[Team chatting late evening in the hotel dining room, Sam was talking about planes...]
Katie: You can talk about planes all you like, but I was referring to eruption columns.
[Everyone laughs]
[...a few seconds later...]
Lawrence: I just got it.
Katie (to Lawrence): Do you still write one letter per page on your notebook?
Brendan: Because IRA is doing fine, Ireland is stable.
Squishy: I, R, A, B, C, D, E…
Harvey: Pub!
[Club staff came over with a pot of chocolate...]
Would anyone like to lick the pot? Have a spoon with it.
Katie: My second one of the day.
[Scones produces a bag of nuts at the range lounge]
Scones: Would anyone like my nuts?
Rhiannon: Put your nuts away!
Brendon: Woo you’ve got big nuts. And some shrivelled ones!
Katie (to Rhiannon): Are you commando?
Squishy: Oh there is going to be cream on these scones.
Mark (to James): Are you fingering my chocolate?
James (to Mark): You are drawing out your banana rather quickly.
Lawrence: “Have you never worn sunglasses and walked into a fridge?”
Allan: (with handpuppet) “Hello, Allan, what’s your name?” (normal voice) “Wait…”
Adrian: “We’ve all been up Snae Fell, if you know what I mean.”
Rhiannon: (strange accent) “I think I’m getting the hang of this!” (pause) Where is that quote from?”
Jen: “I have no idea….”
Rhiannon: “Oh yeah, Lord of the Rings. It was Sam, in Moria, with the frying pan.”
Scones: “That sounds like the weirdest game of Cluedo ever.”
—————-
Rob (At the Bunfight): I tried to get into an argument with a pacifist, but it didn’t work.
Katie: “Sorry – I’m an ale whore.”
IoM 2009:
Gav: Mark bent over and I slipped in behind him.
Katie: I’m so excited. Is there a toilet inside?
SJ: He had me four days in a row.
Sarah: Did you see the little sheepling?….oh, wait….lamb
Gav: You need to squeeze harder on the……aaaaahhhhh…Oooohh Yeaaahh…….Charlie…that feels good
Adrian (to Katie): Are you trying to spoon me?
Charlie: Oh I’m all sticky now after I exploded all over myself
Gav: GREEN!!!
Sam: I like your sausage Gav
Katie: I’m easy
Rob: Really?
Gav: Two fingers should do the trick
Katie (to Gav): You just have a natually large one.
Katie: I quite like synthetic banana
—
Martyn (to Frances): It’s not just you, I do it to everyone!
Jen: I quite like 69…
Sam: Whenever I take the keys back, he always takes me behind the desk
Martyn: I need to get my fingers back into action!
Jen: As a general rule you shouldn’t sniff anything that Charlie gives you.
Gav: Squeeze don’t pull Tim
Ben (OURC): It was brilliant, my barrel was steaming for a good 10-15 minutes afterwards.
Sam: I like Norwegians!
Sam: Do you get girls called Richard?
Rich W: There is not a thing I can’t do with my face
“Ugly Fat, 44 year old bird, four eyed, as thick as two short planks, seeks Mr Happy who will be an honest, loyal, caring, n/s male. Look forward to hearing from you.”
Gav: I’m afraid I do eject a long way
Gav: I do whip it out rather quickly! Corinna: A slower action could be more satisfying
Corinna: It’s all about the finger action
James: “I think you’re having diminishing returns” Mike: “That’s what she said!”
—————-
Charlie: “Whether they’re fed on Anchor or not, they still make grass”
Gav: “There’s nothing worse than being floppy”
Oli: “I am not a shooter.”
Sam: “Can I have a feel? OMG it’s huge!!!”
Chris F: “I don’t want to go to the gents, the little boy’s room is more fun.”
Tim: “Watch out or I will cover your room in Southern Fairy dust!”
James: “It’s very hard and rather large…”
Sam: “My old one’s a bit soft and floppy, but the new one’s a lot stiffer…”
Tim: “Shall we do some ethnic cleansing on the way home?!!!?”
Sara-Jane: “I might be considering doing 3P…”
Rich: “A kiss on the cheek may be quite continental, but tactical thermonuclear weaponry is a boy’s best friend.”
James: “Incest is best”
Capt Smut: “More pink required I think, and more bondage straps required.”
—————-
Charlie: “There’s no way you could resist Chris [Fenning] if he turned on the charm”
Jen: “Blatently could! If I wanted to…”
—————-Isle of Man 2007————————-
Mark (to Charlie): “How much room do I have up my rear?”
Gav: “I want to get some rubber in there”
Emma: “I don’t have patience, I have toast”
—————————————————————-
Charlie: “I quite fancy Anne Widecombe…”
Charlie: “This water’s quite wet isn’t it?”
Sam: “I’ve always wanted to frisk someone…”
Sam: “It’s OK, I’m just talking to my Mayonnaise”
Sam: “David Tennant could come down in his TARDIS and take me away any day”
Sam: “I’m going to play with this now, having played with my wiggly thing”
Jen: “I like the range, it’s like a cave. it’s all… mmmm”
Rich: “I’m not a madman! I’ve got a bit of paper that says I’m not.”
SJ: “Chocolate is like eating a hug, but wine is like ‘mmm, painkillers’!”
SJ: “The teatowels are conspiring against me”
Gav: “If you keep wiggling it, it’ll come eventually”
Charlie: “Your mum’s a woman!”
Rich: ” ‘It’ doesn’t need to be out anywhere…”
